21 Comments

First, "hard limit on dildo stories" was not lost on me. Subtle but layered in nuance.

Second, there is *no* such thing as too many dildo stories. This could turn into a dildo-centered blog and I'd show up every week with excited anticipation.

Third, glad you survived Deke's driving skills in order to tell the tale. At least he had the sense to wait until after his Dark Knight themed ride to bust into George Michael tunes.

Expand full comment

Jen, I appreciate your appreciation of nuance. Also, a dildo-centered blog, you say... hmm...?

Expand full comment

Hooley dooley. Deke sounds like a fun guy. You coulda called him Shiitake.

Expand full comment

Shiitake is a great nickname. Nicknaming is one of my favorite things. I have a friend who is a thick 6'3" and we call him Big Sexy.

Expand full comment

I understand the joy. My husband and I are part of a weekly quiz team and we change our name regularly. We have brainstorming sessions coming up with new names.

Expand full comment

This was great! I REALLY needed it. Well done. Thanks for the trip. (I guess you all had not seen Thelma and Louise.)

Expand full comment

Ah, Thelma and Louise is such a great movie. I love this line from Thelma: "I know it's crazy, but I just feel like I got a knack for this shit."

Expand full comment

That’s some big Deke energy right there!!.. what a riot. Do you still keep in touch with him? Wonder what he is up to these days?? - as a local, I’ve never heard the Lake hell-seńor story. Plausible.. absolutely plausible.

Expand full comment

I don't keep in touch with him, but I keep the faith that he's still out there, wreaking havoc. :)

Expand full comment

Hmm... A Batman-obsessed teen whack job who belts out George Michael tunes while driving like (here's a shocker!) a total lunatic. What could go wrong? I'm curious how this kid turned out (assuming he made it to actual adulthood). Fun story, brudda.

By the way, you had me at "Lake Hell, señor." Freakin' brilliant.

Expand full comment

There are so many close-call stories. I have pretty good instincts in my late 40s as it pertains to not getting into the cars (or lives) of crazy people. Likely because my instincts have been well-seasoned by characters like this. Thanks for reading!

Expand full comment

Scaredy -car! Wuss! WILD DEKE . I missed your dildo posts. This is a much more exciting ride! Bravo.

Expand full comment

*deep bow* :)

Expand full comment

Wow, that was a real guy thing, wasn't it? My brother was four years older than me and he did things like that. He got a Corvette when he was 18 and I, 14. He said wanna go for a ride as I was admiring it in the garage one day. Sure, I said. Gee my brother never asked me to do anything cool with him. I sat down and slid into the seat that made me feel like I was trapped in a lounge chair. He wheeled backwards out of the garage and headed up the hill of our long driveway, then he headed up some gravel roads out around the cornfields. He hit the gas and off we went....slipping, sliding and tossing stones off the gravel road...then he headed for the freeway. He hit the gas again, and before I knew it we were pushing 100. Please take me home, I said....I pleaded actually. He took me back home, I thanked him and never rode with him again after that.

A few weeks later he went out with is buddies drinking. He had two of them in the car and hit the gas. He showed them how fast his car would go and got it up to 110 when a tire blew under an overpass. The car spun into a ditch...the guys got out and ran...including him. Amazingly he didn't get hurt. The cops picked him up and had the car hauled off. I never saw it again. My brother was a nightmare I had to live with as a child. You reminded me of those not so happy times, when boys were boys and thought they were men.

Expand full comment

Boys who think they're men are among the most dangerous animals out there. Glad you survived the Corvette chaos.

Expand full comment

And you never saw Deke again, right? Or was he the Best Man at your wedding?

Expand full comment

Still worked with him for a while after this but haven't seen him or heard about him in 20 years. I hope he's still just this side of crazy.

Expand full comment

Good thing I'm a young 68, Heh

Thanks very much 🤗🥰🖖

Expand full comment

Thank you very much!

Expand full comment

Your writing is so visual that I truly felt like I was on the Batman ride with you. I think we need to find Deke for a follow up reunion piece.

Expand full comment

Jeez, I’m 68, 69 in 6 months, never heard about this! A lot of stories from you, your siblings and friends have come up this past year about happenings in good ole Elsinore. 😇Probably lucky I didn’t hear about a lot of them when you all were younger. I don’t think I would have made it this far so far. lol. There are definitely a lot more to share. Can’t wait to hear about the ones I haven’t heard about yet, and absolutely want to hear about the ones I knew about. I have a feeling they might have a lot more detail that I didn’t hear. Can hardly wait. 👏👏👏 love mom

Expand full comment