I'd be happy to do one perfect push-up, much less 50. I started exercising a few months ago, but had to stop during December because I managed to wrench something. I will now be starting up again in January, so maybe an ongoing checkmark wouldn't be a bad idea...
My new year resolution is to meet up with friends more.
Here's an Irish story for you. I grew up in an apartment building that was mainly Irish immigrants, fresh off the boat. For the most part, I had no idea what they were talking about. When I was twelve, my brother was born. Since we are Jewish, we had a bris which was mid-week. Unexpectedly, the entire building came to celebrate. We had over a hundred people stuffed into a two-bedroom apartment. Now, my parents were not drinkers. On New Year's Eve, they each had a screwdriver. The bottle of vodka lasted a decade. So they were not really used to the drinking habits of our neighbors. My dad went out and got a bunch of booze. And when that disappeared, he went out and bought more. And then more. And then more. I don't know how many hours passed until it occurred to them that as long as there was liquor, no one was leaving.
Definitely one of the more memorable occasions of my childhood.
I, too, took on the 50-pushups challenge, back in 2020. This difference is this: My goal was to do a *grand total* of 50 pushups over the course of the entire year. (I got to 48. Not bad!!)
For 2025, my resolution is related: bench press my IQ. (Hey -- 85 pounds is harder than it looks...)
Your push-up challenge demonstrates a higher order of thinking than mine. Reminds me, a guy I used to bartend with asked me if I lifted weights, and when I said I didn’t, he looked at me like I was dumb and asked, “Why not?” I retuned the look and responded, “Because they’re heavy.”
That's a pretty good working definition of "pragmatism."
It reminds me of a quote by Winston Churchill: "I get my exercise being a pallbearer for those of my friends who believed in regular running and calisthenics."
This was painful for me. I have a 3" metal plate on my big toe, which I broke a few years ago. So I can't get up by pushing off on my big toe on my right foot, cause it hurts like heck and I don't want to disconnect those 5 or 6 screws in there. When I was in gym class in grade school, it was explained to us girls that push ups for us could be different then for the boys as we had heavier upper bodies to lift off the ground. Actually, that didn't apply to everyone. We got permission to do pushups from our knees rather than from on our toes. And, I admit, I really didn't like doing them at all. I enjoyed pull ups much more. So, count me out on pushups.
I spent $500 on a Supreme Gym workout machine a few years back. I resolved that I would go downstairs and work on it at least 15 to 30 minutes a day. The machine is much larger than I. Getting up to 15 minutes was a challenge for me. And that was just for the arms. So the next time I worked on my legs. Sometimes I would do both, but it still ended generally in15 minute increments...until I finally forgot about it. The machine is sitting downstairs now collecting dust. Anyone interested in buying it, I'll take best offer. Plus, you have to pick it up. I've always been pretty active, but prefer to play golf, or walk the dog, work in the yard, or just, you know, move around. This is why I never make New Year's Resolutions. I can't keep them. Give up a drink at the Pub once a week, or maybe two, twice a week? I think not. Who would that benefit? That's how I keep my sanity. I can't give up simple vices. I'd rather paint or write than workout. I would swim if I had a pool. Or at least step in and out of a jacuzzi once in a while. Congrats on your achievements and thanks for reminding me how lazy I have become....or was I always like that?
Simples vices are the best kind. I'm with you on that. Some of the flaws and weaknesses that I give into are for the safety of those around me.
Also, that metal plate... not sure how you broke that toe, but if I were you, I would fabricate a story to go with it, like, you broke it on the skull of grizzly bear you were fending off to save a nursery full of orphans when their Miss Hannigan-like headmistress got blackout drunk on bathtub gin and left the orphanage door unlocked. You saved all the orphans, but the headmistress was eaten in toto.
I need a dad joke every week. Our police chief (I work for a small town) and his lieutenant have one for me when they stop by city hall. They listen to a radio show or look at a website--I forget which--but I need help. 🖖
I'd be happy to do one perfect push-up, much less 50. I started exercising a few months ago, but had to stop during December because I managed to wrench something. I will now be starting up again in January, so maybe an ongoing checkmark wouldn't be a bad idea...
My new year resolution is to meet up with friends more.
Here's an Irish story for you. I grew up in an apartment building that was mainly Irish immigrants, fresh off the boat. For the most part, I had no idea what they were talking about. When I was twelve, my brother was born. Since we are Jewish, we had a bris which was mid-week. Unexpectedly, the entire building came to celebrate. We had over a hundred people stuffed into a two-bedroom apartment. Now, my parents were not drinkers. On New Year's Eve, they each had a screwdriver. The bottle of vodka lasted a decade. So they were not really used to the drinking habits of our neighbors. My dad went out and got a bunch of booze. And when that disappeared, he went out and bought more. And then more. And then more. I don't know how many hours passed until it occurred to them that as long as there was liquor, no one was leaving.
Definitely one of the more memorable occasions of my childhood.
That sounds like a part I would like to have attended. Also, you and my son have the same New Year’s Resolution. Great minds. ;)
Obviously your son is a smart cookie.
I, too, took on the 50-pushups challenge, back in 2020. This difference is this: My goal was to do a *grand total* of 50 pushups over the course of the entire year. (I got to 48. Not bad!!)
For 2025, my resolution is related: bench press my IQ. (Hey -- 85 pounds is harder than it looks...)
Anyway, great piece. Keep the giggles coming.
Your push-up challenge demonstrates a higher order of thinking than mine. Reminds me, a guy I used to bartend with asked me if I lifted weights, and when I said I didn’t, he looked at me like I was dumb and asked, “Why not?” I retuned the look and responded, “Because they’re heavy.”
That's a pretty good working definition of "pragmatism."
It reminds me of a quote by Winston Churchill: "I get my exercise being a pallbearer for those of my friends who believed in regular running and calisthenics."
That's the sort of shit Irish people do.
Especially the good ones. :)
I love everything about this and I will hit you up if I need a shame master 🤣💕
Me too!
I would have to lie....
Shame Master… That’s a great title. Beats the shit out of Sir or Captain or Esquire.
This was painful for me. I have a 3" metal plate on my big toe, which I broke a few years ago. So I can't get up by pushing off on my big toe on my right foot, cause it hurts like heck and I don't want to disconnect those 5 or 6 screws in there. When I was in gym class in grade school, it was explained to us girls that push ups for us could be different then for the boys as we had heavier upper bodies to lift off the ground. Actually, that didn't apply to everyone. We got permission to do pushups from our knees rather than from on our toes. And, I admit, I really didn't like doing them at all. I enjoyed pull ups much more. So, count me out on pushups.
I spent $500 on a Supreme Gym workout machine a few years back. I resolved that I would go downstairs and work on it at least 15 to 30 minutes a day. The machine is much larger than I. Getting up to 15 minutes was a challenge for me. And that was just for the arms. So the next time I worked on my legs. Sometimes I would do both, but it still ended generally in15 minute increments...until I finally forgot about it. The machine is sitting downstairs now collecting dust. Anyone interested in buying it, I'll take best offer. Plus, you have to pick it up. I've always been pretty active, but prefer to play golf, or walk the dog, work in the yard, or just, you know, move around. This is why I never make New Year's Resolutions. I can't keep them. Give up a drink at the Pub once a week, or maybe two, twice a week? I think not. Who would that benefit? That's how I keep my sanity. I can't give up simple vices. I'd rather paint or write than workout. I would swim if I had a pool. Or at least step in and out of a jacuzzi once in a while. Congrats on your achievements and thanks for reminding me how lazy I have become....or was I always like that?
Simples vices are the best kind. I'm with you on that. Some of the flaws and weaknesses that I give into are for the safety of those around me.
Also, that metal plate... not sure how you broke that toe, but if I were you, I would fabricate a story to go with it, like, you broke it on the skull of grizzly bear you were fending off to save a nursery full of orphans when their Miss Hannigan-like headmistress got blackout drunk on bathtub gin and left the orphanage door unlocked. You saved all the orphans, but the headmistress was eaten in toto.
Need a screenplay pusher? It’s a healthier type of drug.
I manage okay pumping out pages, but I wouldn't turn away a beta reader once I finish off this draft I'm working on...
I need a dad joke every week. Our police chief (I work for a small town) and his lieutenant have one for me when they stop by city hall. They listen to a radio show or look at a website--I forget which--but I need help. 🖖
And you are absolutely correct. I avoid the penalty box like poison :D
Here's one I heard the other day: Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella? Fo drizzle.
Also, this: https://www.menshealth.com/trending-news/a34437277/best-dad-jokes/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=mgu_ga_mnh_md_dsa_comm_org_us_a34437277&gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAiA-Oi7BhA1EiwA2rIu2yY4x90yGVk4yZmKCpCkCBGMPokXJwv9C4dulLoGF-l8hXtuf7aG5hoCKukQAvD_BwE