I’ve been having nightmares about clowns, and it’s probably karma. My son, Sam, saw his first clown at a backyard birthday party when he was two. When Sam walked into the backyard, he immediately fixed his gaze on the creepy, face-painted bastard—in its polka-dotted jumpsuit with its fire engine red tufts of hair—as it twisted balloons into something vaguely resembling woodland creatures from hell.
First, I share your abhorrence of clowns--and mimes, the discount version of clowns. Also, I wanted to give a shout out to your novel "Dig!" which I have purchased and am currently reading. Loving it.
I hate clowns and so does my husband so I sent this to him too. Huge laugh, love the honking testicles. By the way, your book “Dig” was good, I did give it a good review.
I waffled back and forth on whether or not to include that detail. It made me laugh so I figured it might make somebody else laugh. Kate Cassidy, you see me. ;)
My grandmother loved clowns. So much so that she decorated one of the guest rooms in her house with clowns. The wallpaper was clowns. The drapes were clowns. The bedspread was clowns. There were clown figurines on the shelves. It was the scariest room in any house I have ever been in. This includes the haunted houses!! And one of us had to sleep in that room when we visited. We would beg to stay at our other grandparents house just to avoid the clown room but alas, we were not allowed. Luckily, I was the oldest so I could force my younger brother to take that room instead. And lucky for him, we had a younger sister that he could force to sleep in the clown room. So she got stuck there. I often wonder what type of psychological damage we did to her by forcing her to sleep in that room. She barely remembers it which I'm not sure makes it better or worse.
I could see your sister slowly turning to a life of clowning and recruiting a whole alley (the word for a group of clowns, according to the internet) to stage an elaborate revenge. That's a show we could take on the road. ;)
That sounds like a truly terrifying dream. I'm glad I have remembered any of my dreams in decades.
As far as clowns at little kids' parties, obviously the work of a sadist. Or serial killer. (Just as scary is the huge rat at Chuck E Cheese. We had one party there. Almost thirty years ago and I'm still recovering.)
I LOVE the clown story. When my son was only 2, or maybe a little younger, I introduced him to a bight and shiny Jack in the Box. He turned the crank slowly and soon, out jumped a clown. He screamed bloody murder and ran full speed from his playroom into the living room, seeking comfort from the TV. He cried for at least 20 minutes. He was terrified. I gave the box to Goodwill, so it could scare the crap out of another child. Personally, I have always been afraid of clowns. Except Clarabell on Howdy Doody. He was kind to children and not scary. But, I've read Stephen King books where a clown spoke to him from under a sewer on a street one night. Now I'm afraid of street sewers, especially if they happen to make a noise. And, I read Jeffery Dahmer about the Serial Killer who lived in Chicago and Wisconsin and dressed like a clown to scare people, and of course, kill them, and keep their heads in the freezer. Clowns are hiding behind something intense, and I don't want to find out what that is. I didn't want to go to the circus when I was a kid with my dad, because of the clowns. I was more scared of them than the tigers. Thanks for reminding me, NORM. Now I probably will have your nightmares...lol
They work for both, I think. Those genres operate on the same energy. Tension and release, tension and release… Dread and screams or suspense and laughs.
First, I share your abhorrence of clowns--and mimes, the discount version of clowns. Also, I wanted to give a shout out to your novel "Dig!" which I have purchased and am currently reading. Loving it.
Discounted Clowns--that's a title for something. Thanks for the early Dig review! I appreciate the encouragement.
I hate clowns and so does my husband so I sent this to him too. Huge laugh, love the honking testicles. By the way, your book “Dig” was good, I did give it a good review.
I particularly laughed aloud at the bright colored pubic hairs surrounding such things. What a vision that was!
I waffled back and forth on whether or not to include that detail. It made me laugh so I figured it might make somebody else laugh. Kate Cassidy, you see me. ;)
Good or bad...I saw it as funny for sure!
I mean, you just can't go wrong with honking testicles. ;)
A million thanks for reading "Dig." I appreciate you! :)
My grandmother loved clowns. So much so that she decorated one of the guest rooms in her house with clowns. The wallpaper was clowns. The drapes were clowns. The bedspread was clowns. There were clown figurines on the shelves. It was the scariest room in any house I have ever been in. This includes the haunted houses!! And one of us had to sleep in that room when we visited. We would beg to stay at our other grandparents house just to avoid the clown room but alas, we were not allowed. Luckily, I was the oldest so I could force my younger brother to take that room instead. And lucky for him, we had a younger sister that he could force to sleep in the clown room. So she got stuck there. I often wonder what type of psychological damage we did to her by forcing her to sleep in that room. She barely remembers it which I'm not sure makes it better or worse.
A revenge story starring your sister seems like a story worth telling... ;)
Let's write it togther! The bedspread was bright orange too - even more frightening!!
I could see your sister slowly turning to a life of clowning and recruiting a whole alley (the word for a group of clowns, according to the internet) to stage an elaborate revenge. That's a show we could take on the road. ;)
I have pictures of us in our 20s as clowns from the circus. I threatened my mom I was going to drop out and go to clown college. Ready made images!
This reads like an prologue to a horror book
A best selling one?
I’m thinking of a comedy-horror story for my novella… Hmm…
I like it
Trust me, she is damaged just having older brothers. I just had one and he damaged me for sure.
Without a doubt. We still torture her 😂
This must be why women need to get married...to protect themselves from their brother/s.
That sounds like a truly terrifying dream. I'm glad I have remembered any of my dreams in decades.
As far as clowns at little kids' parties, obviously the work of a sadist. Or serial killer. (Just as scary is the huge rat at Chuck E Cheese. We had one party there. Almost thirty years ago and I'm still recovering.)
I have the same Chuck E. Cheese experience. My cousins teased me mercilessly for being afraid of a six-foot rat, as if I'm the unreasonable one.
Have you seen John Oliver's youtube expose of Chuck E? Hysterical. Also, I should not admit this, but the top comment is mine.
Not admit it?! Own your point of view! ;) Thanks for the recommendation. This one slipped past me. Oliver is consistently genius.
I LOVE the clown story. When my son was only 2, or maybe a little younger, I introduced him to a bight and shiny Jack in the Box. He turned the crank slowly and soon, out jumped a clown. He screamed bloody murder and ran full speed from his playroom into the living room, seeking comfort from the TV. He cried for at least 20 minutes. He was terrified. I gave the box to Goodwill, so it could scare the crap out of another child. Personally, I have always been afraid of clowns. Except Clarabell on Howdy Doody. He was kind to children and not scary. But, I've read Stephen King books where a clown spoke to him from under a sewer on a street one night. Now I'm afraid of street sewers, especially if they happen to make a noise. And, I read Jeffery Dahmer about the Serial Killer who lived in Chicago and Wisconsin and dressed like a clown to scare people, and of course, kill them, and keep their heads in the freezer. Clowns are hiding behind something intense, and I don't want to find out what that is. I didn't want to go to the circus when I was a kid with my dad, because of the clowns. I was more scared of them than the tigers. Thanks for reminding me, NORM. Now I probably will have your nightmares...lol
You're right. It's the hiding. Tigers are tigers. You know exactly what you get. Clowns, though... who knows?
I'm right there with you, clowns dance on the line between humor and horror
They work for both, I think. Those genres operate on the same energy. Tension and release, tension and release… Dread and screams or suspense and laughs.
Clown hernias!!🤣🤣🤣
The Clown Hernias sounds like a great name for a punk band.
Yes!! 🤣
Let’s go see the new IT movie
If clown hernias end up in an IT movie, I'm hiring a lawyer.