One of few writers who use masterbatory in a sentence rather than a fun solo exercise. PS There’s no such thing as a nervous breakdown. I know . Emotions. Chemicals. Blind depression cocktail of anxiety. All remedied with time, patience, proper meds, a sane therapist and appears in your and my case spouses and children who didn’t run and hide. Ah scadenfreude . Had to remind of spelling and meaning. We’re “grateful” , older and made by timing and moves to 2 homes. One on a sublime harbor in MI ( I’m a born and raised LA, Ca. Confirmed unsalted lake lady and a democrat ! The other. Venice fl. Can you spell Helene & Milton . You mentioned Tiki Bar . . gods of vengeance have unleashed fury. We head South this week. Our hacienda . No damage.
Keep us amused and please bear your deepest dark secrets with colorful expletives. Erin and I will be waiting.
Last night I went to a local pub to a casual drink and eat or not "get together" with our neighbors. I really had to push myself as this is not my thing. Generally, I only get as close to my neighbors as does my dog, otherwise I am pretty much a recluse from society. So I made myself go and be an adult...after all, I am 80 now, so not much time left, I hear. I sat alone with a friend, and ordered my drink. They were all mingling happily at their own tables. How do you get to know people if they all sit with their close neighbors and wives and husbands? When I was about to order some dinner, someone came over and said, "Aren't you Ellie's mom?" "Yes, as a matter of fact, I am" even though she is my housemate's dog. And so we visited about, pretty much nothing. You know, the garden, the weather, how did their kids fare thru the storm in Ashville, and How is Ellie?...things like that. It was ok and then someone's husband came by and sat down and chatted. He is the neighborhood fixer. If anything breaks or I can't lift it or fix the sink or something, he comes over and fixes it. I'm grateful for that and got a chance to thank him. Then I saw some people who sat across from me that live across the street and have two dogs. They never acknowledged me. I smiled and they looked away. They have big dogs and I always try to say hello to them, but I have a very small dog, which, I guess, isn't worthy of their acknowledgment. Then when I was about to leave, a nice woman came by and said how much she enjoyed my Christmas Holiday Cards. I enter them into a contest every year and have been successful in having them printed and sold thru the contest sponsor's Boutique and Card Shop. She said she and her husband have them framed and they put them on their wall by the bar. How appropriate, I thought. They have them there all year just for a little Christmas Cheer. Wow, that made me feel good. And as I was walking out, a woman came by and thanked me for sending out the name of a seamstress I finally found in town, after 20 years, that could actually shorten my pants, or replace a zipper or something without charging an arm and a leg. This neighbor was delighted as she began using her for making some covers for her furniture and was very happy with her work. So she gave me the credit. When I left, I felt proud. I also felt more social as I had two drinks before I left. So it was a good evening. It pays to make yourself "get out" if you are a loner of sorts. People can actually make you feel better. So I will do my best to get out in the world and spread joy, or at least try to take some in and realize I'm still okay. Your story made me think of reflections, if you are wondering where this came from, it was from the baby who was sharing with himself. Sometimes we need to look in the mirror and realize we can face the world if we can face ourselves. Thanks, Norm. We are all just human after all, minute by minute, day by day, year by year.
Love this! Glad to hear you had such a lovely night. The older I get, the more I value community. I would love to see some of these holiday cards. I used to write my version every year, but really it was a way to troll my mother-in-law. She writes them every year and they're all the highlights, saccharine sweet. Mine were riddled with manufactured bouts of dark comedy and satire, like my yearly congratulations to my aunt, the one with the great laugh who may or may not have started her own porn empire. The look on my mother-in-law's face... worthy every stamp.
Come on, man. Do you not read my posts? When talking about something you’ve experienced, be one in a million, not one of a million. Violent NYC experience? Pfft… get in line. That’s called Tuesday. Breakdown? That was definitely on Thursday with a replay on Saturday.
Seriously though, congrats on the year. Keep bringing the thought-provoking-funny-cause it’s-true-and thinking-about-it-too-hard-will kill-you, funny.
I hear you! And the NYC story will not disappoint. As for the breakdown, it involved a bunny rabbit with a anal prolapse, a Mexican dinner with my family, and a nosy kindergartener. The one-in-a-million specifics runneth over. Thanks for the kind words. The encouragement goes a long way. :)
You know when I woke up this morning I was hoping somebody would discuss an anal prolapse. This wold just keeps on giving. As for your other stories - noted. You have agentified blessing.
Now I’m sad. You had me at Bunnicula (my mother gave me that book) but the rest 🥺🫣😭.
Know that I have an unhealthy attachment to animals. I will try to save a rat from a sticky trap… and I missed the train making a cardboard ramp for a raccoon to get out of an empty dumpster. I sat outside in 33mph wind last night feeding a stray kitten.
I am sad for that towel bunny.🐰 I’m going to call my therapist now…
I was sad, too, believe me. Probably one of the reasons I married my wife who is basically Snow White. She has literally put one of our chickens back together with super glue after it was mauled by a bobcat. And she did so in the middle of the night during a thunderstorm. The chicken laid an egg the next week.
Congrats on your first year!! Please continue to write. Life is hard as it is and we need to call out the good and funny side of it. I live for sunday night to read a good funny story! (No pressure here😉)
One of few writers who use masterbatory in a sentence rather than a fun solo exercise. PS There’s no such thing as a nervous breakdown. I know . Emotions. Chemicals. Blind depression cocktail of anxiety. All remedied with time, patience, proper meds, a sane therapist and appears in your and my case spouses and children who didn’t run and hide. Ah scadenfreude . Had to remind of spelling and meaning. We’re “grateful” , older and made by timing and moves to 2 homes. One on a sublime harbor in MI ( I’m a born and raised LA, Ca. Confirmed unsalted lake lady and a democrat ! The other. Venice fl. Can you spell Helene & Milton . You mentioned Tiki Bar . . gods of vengeance have unleashed fury. We head South this week. Our hacienda . No damage.
Keep us amused and please bear your deepest dark secrets with colorful expletives. Erin and I will be waiting.
"All remedied with time, patience, proper meds, a sane therapist..." Yup. Spot on.
"Keep us amused and please bear your deepest dark secrets with colorful expletives." Best invitation I've ever received.
Ah . Enough of your buttery nonsense ! You’ve had at least 10 more promising invitations. Do continue to spread the truth and nothing but !
❤️
Last night I went to a local pub to a casual drink and eat or not "get together" with our neighbors. I really had to push myself as this is not my thing. Generally, I only get as close to my neighbors as does my dog, otherwise I am pretty much a recluse from society. So I made myself go and be an adult...after all, I am 80 now, so not much time left, I hear. I sat alone with a friend, and ordered my drink. They were all mingling happily at their own tables. How do you get to know people if they all sit with their close neighbors and wives and husbands? When I was about to order some dinner, someone came over and said, "Aren't you Ellie's mom?" "Yes, as a matter of fact, I am" even though she is my housemate's dog. And so we visited about, pretty much nothing. You know, the garden, the weather, how did their kids fare thru the storm in Ashville, and How is Ellie?...things like that. It was ok and then someone's husband came by and sat down and chatted. He is the neighborhood fixer. If anything breaks or I can't lift it or fix the sink or something, he comes over and fixes it. I'm grateful for that and got a chance to thank him. Then I saw some people who sat across from me that live across the street and have two dogs. They never acknowledged me. I smiled and they looked away. They have big dogs and I always try to say hello to them, but I have a very small dog, which, I guess, isn't worthy of their acknowledgment. Then when I was about to leave, a nice woman came by and said how much she enjoyed my Christmas Holiday Cards. I enter them into a contest every year and have been successful in having them printed and sold thru the contest sponsor's Boutique and Card Shop. She said she and her husband have them framed and they put them on their wall by the bar. How appropriate, I thought. They have them there all year just for a little Christmas Cheer. Wow, that made me feel good. And as I was walking out, a woman came by and thanked me for sending out the name of a seamstress I finally found in town, after 20 years, that could actually shorten my pants, or replace a zipper or something without charging an arm and a leg. This neighbor was delighted as she began using her for making some covers for her furniture and was very happy with her work. So she gave me the credit. When I left, I felt proud. I also felt more social as I had two drinks before I left. So it was a good evening. It pays to make yourself "get out" if you are a loner of sorts. People can actually make you feel better. So I will do my best to get out in the world and spread joy, or at least try to take some in and realize I'm still okay. Your story made me think of reflections, if you are wondering where this came from, it was from the baby who was sharing with himself. Sometimes we need to look in the mirror and realize we can face the world if we can face ourselves. Thanks, Norm. We are all just human after all, minute by minute, day by day, year by year.
Love this! Glad to hear you had such a lovely night. The older I get, the more I value community. I would love to see some of these holiday cards. I used to write my version every year, but really it was a way to troll my mother-in-law. She writes them every year and they're all the highlights, saccharine sweet. Mine were riddled with manufactured bouts of dark comedy and satire, like my yearly congratulations to my aunt, the one with the great laugh who may or may not have started her own porn empire. The look on my mother-in-law's face... worthy every stamp.
Come on, man. Do you not read my posts? When talking about something you’ve experienced, be one in a million, not one of a million. Violent NYC experience? Pfft… get in line. That’s called Tuesday. Breakdown? That was definitely on Thursday with a replay on Saturday.
Seriously though, congrats on the year. Keep bringing the thought-provoking-funny-cause it’s-true-and thinking-about-it-too-hard-will kill-you, funny.
I hear you! And the NYC story will not disappoint. As for the breakdown, it involved a bunny rabbit with a anal prolapse, a Mexican dinner with my family, and a nosy kindergartener. The one-in-a-million specifics runneth over. Thanks for the kind words. The encouragement goes a long way. :)
You know when I woke up this morning I was hoping somebody would discuss an anal prolapse. This wold just keeps on giving. As for your other stories - noted. You have agentified blessing.
Well, in that case: https://allkindsoffunny.substack.com/p/bunny-rabbits-kindergarteners-epiphanies
Now I’m sad. You had me at Bunnicula (my mother gave me that book) but the rest 🥺🫣😭.
Know that I have an unhealthy attachment to animals. I will try to save a rat from a sticky trap… and I missed the train making a cardboard ramp for a raccoon to get out of an empty dumpster. I sat outside in 33mph wind last night feeding a stray kitten.
I am sad for that towel bunny.🐰 I’m going to call my therapist now…
I was sad, too, believe me. Probably one of the reasons I married my wife who is basically Snow White. She has literally put one of our chickens back together with super glue after it was mauled by a bobcat. And she did so in the middle of the night during a thunderstorm. The chicken laid an egg the next week.
I now have a deep affection for your wife… I am still upset about towel bunny
Happy anniversary! I look forward to much more. . .
Grazie!
Congrats on your first year!! Please continue to write. Life is hard as it is and we need to call out the good and funny side of it. I live for sunday night to read a good funny story! (No pressure here😉)
Thanks! And thanks for the encouragement! I love knowing that I get to be part of your Sunday evenings. :)