Are you actually writing a movie? Very cool if so. Although Hollywood is a fickle beast, at best.
Bad news. Nothing you do will earn your children's respect. No. Thing.
Extending the life of (most) dogs is an admirable goal. (A few years ago, I was staying at my s-i-l and b-i-l's place. I get up to go to the bathroom and when I come back, their 70 pound Boxer is lying in the bed. I give Daisy the stink eye, and state very firmly "I am not Jesse" (their son). Daisy looks at me for a moment and then slinks off.)
I cannot imagine owning 12 acres. I'm on almost 1/2 an acre and I can barely keep up. (A family member bought an actual mansion a few years ago. When we toured it and came to the library, one of my children (who's as snarky as I am) asked sotto voce, has he ever read a book? I'm pretty sure no, was my reply.)
Tattoos! My youngest is a graphic designer, so by law, he has three tattoos (one for each member of the family). Personally, I am against all forms of self inflicted pain.
Yeah, I got started in film. I spent too many years optioning screenplays that collected dust on the shelves of lazy and/or incompetent producers. So I've started writing a mockumentary that I can produce myself without having to ask anyone for permission. My wife is a big fan of Best in Show, so it will be along those lines but about a haunted AirBNB.
I'm determined to prove you wrong re: respect from the kiddos. That said, I've never met a fool's errand I didn't like.
That dogs die is an argument against intelligent design.
Libraries are wasted on the boring.
I have one tattoo, and I'll admit that this is weird, but the pain feels kinda nice.
It took me until the age of 30 to get my ears pierced, so major chicken here.
A mockumentary! I look forward to watching and laughing.
Regarding respect - when my youngest was 10, I told him to ;put away his clean laundry. His reply? "I will never give into your despotism!". (I managed not to crack up and told him 'Good. Now put away your laundry." Parents - we don't get no respect (just a lot of laughs).
I love the idea of manifestation. Whether you believe or not, throwing it out there hurts nothing. Also, I’d do the tattoo but I’m out of room and I’m not putting that on my thigh 🫤
Oh for certain. You’ve got the knack. You’ve got the saavy. You’ve got the talent. You’ve got the humour. You’ve got the sense of ridiculous. You do make me smile. Now all you have to do is cast a spell and you’ll be funnier than David Sedaris.
I keep coming back to hosting a workshop here... hmm... could be fun...
Our home is delightful. It was the first cabin built in a cabin full of Live Oaks. My wife will tell you that it used to be a dance hall. I will tell you that it used to be a bath house, which is a euphemism for a brothel. I'm right, she's wrong. But that's neither here nor there. There's a man down the road, 90-something, who still owns a gun he won in a poker game that occurred in what is now our bedroom.
I was a math major. In my last year in college, my friends and I took the Putnam Exam, a country-wide math test. There were six questions in the morning and six in the afternoon, all tough as hell. My result was that I was the 101st best in the nation. I'm still proud of that.
Every day, I'm more in awe of how tiny miracles work. It's like a global game of connect the dots. For me to have even found your Substack is an example of those miracles (thank you, CK Steefel), and your posts give me funny stories to share with other people, so that's a bonus for both of us.
So I have to ask, did you ask how many comedic substackers there are out there? I mean if there are 100,000, then 99 looks damn good! So come on, give yourself a pat on the back, or at least ask your wife for one. You should at least get a "99 LOL" Silver pin to wear.
If you actually do go through buying a house with a horse barn, I would like to volunteer to be your horse barn Manager. I would include all duties, like feeding, cleaning and of course, exercising the horse/s. And, I'd love to write Funny Stuff. I need to find something new and that sounds like fun.
BTW, has anyone else noticed when you ask for help from spell check that they throw you words that have nothing to do with what you are trying to spell out? OMG, some of them are disgusting. And they can stop sending me the words I want to use to finish a sentence. Those are not the words I want to use, those are the words AI wants to use. We are all going to sound like we were born in Stepford City...exactly alike. We can just finishe each other's conversations. Egad!! This AI stuff is driving me crazy. Don't try to beef up my communications skills when sometimes I enjoy confusing people, or turning a word a might make up into a more fun pun. Get off my cell and my internet!!! (Don't seal that, I'm going to use it.)
I'm not sure how many there are, but I will take that pat on the back. And if we ever manage to buy a house with a barn and need a farmhand, I'll be knocking on your door.
I'm mulling the possibility of a humor writing workshop. Could be fun to get something going here...
Yeah, spellcheck and AI are the worst. They have the instincts of moths and will steer a sentence right into the fiery flames of hell.
I think most of your goals are quite admirable.
Are you actually writing a movie? Very cool if so. Although Hollywood is a fickle beast, at best.
Bad news. Nothing you do will earn your children's respect. No. Thing.
Extending the life of (most) dogs is an admirable goal. (A few years ago, I was staying at my s-i-l and b-i-l's place. I get up to go to the bathroom and when I come back, their 70 pound Boxer is lying in the bed. I give Daisy the stink eye, and state very firmly "I am not Jesse" (their son). Daisy looks at me for a moment and then slinks off.)
I cannot imagine owning 12 acres. I'm on almost 1/2 an acre and I can barely keep up. (A family member bought an actual mansion a few years ago. When we toured it and came to the library, one of my children (who's as snarky as I am) asked sotto voce, has he ever read a book? I'm pretty sure no, was my reply.)
Tattoos! My youngest is a graphic designer, so by law, he has three tattoos (one for each member of the family). Personally, I am against all forms of self inflicted pain.
Yeah, I got started in film. I spent too many years optioning screenplays that collected dust on the shelves of lazy and/or incompetent producers. So I've started writing a mockumentary that I can produce myself without having to ask anyone for permission. My wife is a big fan of Best in Show, so it will be along those lines but about a haunted AirBNB.
I'm determined to prove you wrong re: respect from the kiddos. That said, I've never met a fool's errand I didn't like.
That dogs die is an argument against intelligent design.
Libraries are wasted on the boring.
I have one tattoo, and I'll admit that this is weird, but the pain feels kinda nice.
It took me until the age of 30 to get my ears pierced, so major chicken here.
A mockumentary! I look forward to watching and laughing.
Regarding respect - when my youngest was 10, I told him to ;put away his clean laundry. His reply? "I will never give into your despotism!". (I managed not to crack up and told him 'Good. Now put away your laundry." Parents - we don't get no respect (just a lot of laughs).
My left nut is #50 in paid humor here.
Must rank way higher in free humor.
Oddly it’s ranked 69 there. 🤔
I love the idea of manifestation. Whether you believe or not, throwing it out there hurts nothing. Also, I’d do the tattoo but I’m out of room and I’m not putting that on my thigh 🫤
I wanna believe that there are intangible energies we just haven't figured out how to measure, except with heart and guts.
Fair enough. Nobody wants to have their thighs associated with derivations of funny.
Raises hand to participate in any of these…
You're in.
Oh for certain. You’ve got the knack. You’ve got the saavy. You’ve got the talent. You’ve got the humour. You’ve got the sense of ridiculous. You do make me smile. Now all you have to do is cast a spell and you’ll be funnier than David Sedaris.
Abracadabra is one of my favorite words.
Btw. No need to transform into Sedaris or ‘nother ! Maybe . His sis Amy. She’s wittier and prettier. 😂
This was fab! I love your wish list. A humor writing class sounds fun. Memoirish?Your home sounds delightful.
I keep coming back to hosting a workshop here... hmm... could be fun...
Our home is delightful. It was the first cabin built in a cabin full of Live Oaks. My wife will tell you that it used to be a dance hall. I will tell you that it used to be a bath house, which is a euphemism for a brothel. I'm right, she's wrong. But that's neither here nor there. There's a man down the road, 90-something, who still owns a gun he won in a poker game that occurred in what is now our bedroom.
Haha. I love a house with history. My sis knows someone who bought a huge home in CO that was once a porn soundstage.
Haha. More "homely" than a warehouse, I guess.
Have you done any workshops on Substack?
I’ll DM you.
“I would like to run a humor/memoir workshop with some of the people who read this substack.” Yes, please
Thanks for the nudge. I'm noodling on it... Have you done any workshops on Substack?
I haven’t. I have no advice to give. I’ve done meet ups and one offs, but nothing with any feedback.
I’m a fan of All Kinds of Funny, and today invented a new one: https://gofund.me/56d04538 For $78, I will not start a podcast.
The title is solid.
I was a math major. In my last year in college, my friends and I took the Putnam Exam, a country-wide math test. There were six questions in the morning and six in the afternoon, all tough as hell. My result was that I was the 101st best in the nation. I'm still proud of that.
That is very, very impressive!
I started out life as a math major, but real analysis almost broke me.
My oldest broke octa-finals in two man debate - i.e. 15th best in the nation. Which isn't surprising, as arguing seems to be his specialty.
Those debates are so fun to watch. Congrats to your boy!
Hell, I'm proud of you. That's damn impressive. I wish I could speak the mathematical language with more fluency.
Every day, I'm more in awe of how tiny miracles work. It's like a global game of connect the dots. For me to have even found your Substack is an example of those miracles (thank you, CK Steefel), and your posts give me funny stories to share with other people, so that's a bonus for both of us.
So I have to ask, did you ask how many comedic substackers there are out there? I mean if there are 100,000, then 99 looks damn good! So come on, give yourself a pat on the back, or at least ask your wife for one. You should at least get a "99 LOL" Silver pin to wear.
If you actually do go through buying a house with a horse barn, I would like to volunteer to be your horse barn Manager. I would include all duties, like feeding, cleaning and of course, exercising the horse/s. And, I'd love to write Funny Stuff. I need to find something new and that sounds like fun.
BTW, has anyone else noticed when you ask for help from spell check that they throw you words that have nothing to do with what you are trying to spell out? OMG, some of them are disgusting. And they can stop sending me the words I want to use to finish a sentence. Those are not the words I want to use, those are the words AI wants to use. We are all going to sound like we were born in Stepford City...exactly alike. We can just finishe each other's conversations. Egad!! This AI stuff is driving me crazy. Don't try to beef up my communications skills when sometimes I enjoy confusing people, or turning a word a might make up into a more fun pun. Get off my cell and my internet!!! (Don't seal that, I'm going to use it.)
I'm not sure how many there are, but I will take that pat on the back. And if we ever manage to buy a house with a barn and need a farmhand, I'll be knocking on your door.
I'm mulling the possibility of a humor writing workshop. Could be fun to get something going here...
Yeah, spellcheck and AI are the worst. They have the instincts of moths and will steer a sentence right into the fiery flames of hell.
Here’s an idea. How about you start a goofy story and let us write in the next paragraphs.