26 Comments
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Jennifer Ward Dudley's avatar

Someday. When I’m awfully low I will feel the glow just thinking of you and the many ways you’ve failed miserably 😆😆😆😆😆

Norman T. Leonard's avatar

I take this as a glorious compliment! May my failures be your blessings. ;)

Jennifer Ward Dudley's avatar

May my snarky heart be with you !

Chris Coble's avatar

Your aspirations to become a better human, and never moving the needle on any of it, will only increase your overall anxiety. A better tactic is set goals that are more achievable. For instance, you might try “For the next 4 weeks I will not sexually molest any hot dwarfs”, which is something even your lazy ass can probably accomplish.

Norman T. Leonard's avatar

I'm not making any promises, Chris.

Chris Coble's avatar

I understand. Maybe start with ugly dwarfs.

Mark's avatar

But not today

Norman T. Leonard's avatar

What can I say, Mark? I've got shit to do. ;)

Norm's avatar

From one Norm to another, let me just say that, in my opinion, striving to be a better human being is overrated. I mean, I don’t want to be a bad person, but I’ve reached the “I don’t give a crap” stage of life. It’s quite liberating.

Norman T. Leonard's avatar

The “I don’t give a crap” stage of life--this sounds like enlightenment. You've ascended, Norm. Namaste. :)

Ofifoto1's avatar

Why mess with a good thing?

Norman T. Leonard's avatar

I will take this compliment. ;)

Ofifoto1's avatar

Take it and run. Or sit in the shade and have a beer. The choice is yours. ☺️

Larry Urish's avatar

I remember the time I was cycling through Santiago Canyon years ago, just my Day Glo lycra-clad self and my skinny-tire road bike, when this fucking lunatic tried to run me off the road ... for no reason.

Norm, I KNEW YOU LOOKED FAMILIAR!

Anyway, I'm down with all of your goals, including your acceptance of cyclists.

I recall seeing that short clip just a few years ago. Since I've aged about 15 years since then (only half kidding), I gotta say that really hit home. If you want to make any changes, please don't wait another two decades. Seriously.

Norman T. Leonard's avatar

Bahahahahahaha! Larry, I'm confident that you're the cyclist exception that proves the rule.

On a more reflective note, I watched that short film in a screening of the Oscar nominated shorts--animated and live action--while in Boston for my daughter's volleyball tournament (I know, I know... Boston?! But I did wear an Austin Reaves t-shirt all over that city and made a point to hurl stink eye at everyone in a Tatum jersey). The sheer wealth of creativity in those shorts woke me up a bit. So there will definitely be no waiting another two decades, as you said.

Unrelated, I just got Old Man's War. One book ahead of it in the queue...

Larry Urish's avatar

I can see why many folks hate cyclists, since many don't give a damn about motorists and practically BEG to get run over (pricks...). I *always* stayed the hell out of the way AND thanked drivers whenever they were courteous. The karma kept me from ever having any problems. Not a one.

About Boston: Tatum jersey, fine. BIRD jersey? Fuck that...

Glad you're going to read Old Man's War! I think you'll become a John Scalzi fan. This is part one of a six-part series. If you like this, try the second installment; it'll blow you away. BTW, I read a collection of Hap & Leonard short stories, by Lansdale. I can see why Dig is compared to his work. Really gritty, great banter between the two guys. Good stuff.

Karen Lucas Martin's avatar

Goals, gotta have em!

Good Humor by CK Steefel's avatar

Great read. 😂😂 Nailed it on the deplaning anxiety, cyclists, eating until full…

Norman T. Leonard's avatar

I share these thoughts, all the time wondering if anyone out there is as kooky as me. CK, I'm glad to know you. ;)

Good Humor by CK Steefel's avatar

You too!

Megan's avatar

I needed this today. I’m working a bank conversion and am struggling with the time change. You might just be my spirit animal!

Norman T. Leonard's avatar

I don't know what a bank conversion is, but it sounds like it's above my pay grade... and abilities... and tolerance for pain... Happy to be of service. :)

Hilary Ritter's avatar

You are hilarious! Thanks for the giggle!

Norman T. Leonard's avatar

You are lovely! Thanks for the read! :)

User's avatar
Comment removed
Mar 12
Comment removed
Norman T. Leonard's avatar

All my friends are real ones. Thanks for reading. :)